The NON smoking me

It amazes me just how much NON smokers...including me, can get done.  I suppose for newbie non smokers it might be a bit more (because we are trying to keep busy ergo not think about smoking). 
Usually Saturdays are hard for me, thus far, but yesterday was my Saturday I guess.  I actually wept that I was not smoking.  I wanted to smoke so bad.  I sat in bed crying, to a really important person about how sad I was that cigarettes were not in my life anymore, how I was tired of being strong, how I wanted one so bad.  Yesterday was, based on past experiences, the perfect day for smoking...but I didn't have one.  I couldn't remember, despite writing it down, why I had quit, or why I wanted this path. 
Today was Saturday, my usual hard day.  It was easier than yesterday and previous Saturdays but still hard.  I've found that weekends have actually become something I don't look forward to.  Relaxing, wine drinking, reading, crafts, extra hours = smoking. 
Today, in an effort to curtail the urge I went for a beautiful hour and a half hike at South Valley Park in Ken Caryl, Littleton.  I then spent a good two hours at the Arapahoe Public Library.  I came home took a nap, and made two embroidered/crocheted dish towels for Christmas.  This weekend I watched the entire third season of Fringe (may have to watch again LOL), two movies (Fast Five and Horrible Bosses), did some extensive meditating, ate an entire meal by myself in a restaurant (well Panera....does that count?), and enjoyed myself.
I look forward to the weekend in which I don't think about smoking.  I look forward to the weekend I look forward to.  I look forward to the life without cigarettes.  It's been a hard three weeks.  I look at my bestie, and quit smoking partner Sara and envy her strength, she seems so strong, so unfazed by the little things and she inspires me.  She's amazing when it comes to these things.  I hope I can be half as strong as she.
Tomorrow is Sunday, usually a good day for me.  I have learned however that as an ex-smoker there are surprises, both good and bad, and that I must be prepared for them. 
I am strong.  I am a NON smoker.  I can do this. 

2012 Sketchbook Project

Today I received in the mail my sketchbook for the

Art House Co-Op 2012 Sketchbook Project. 

I'm very excited to get started on this project.  My theme is Tears and

Fears...at the time I signed up these were two things that were very

dominate in my life.  Perhaps in many ways these still are and through this I

can reconcile some of those tears and fears.

I'm looking forward to exploring what these can turn out to be in my

sketchbook which allows for any type of medium. 

If you are interested in learning more about the 2012 Sketchbook Project by

the Art House Co-Op check out their website at

http://www.arthousecoop.com/projects/sketchbookproject2012

2011 Associate Banquet

Last night I celebrated 15 years with Centura.  Something I'm very proud of.  I had a wonderful time with great company and was surrounded by people who I love.  Plus we got to do a tour of the Sports Authority Field and that was very cool.

During the tour of the stadium we got to see the inside of the guest locker room

Never thought I would be standing on a professional football field, or that I would think it was so cool!  :)



At the end of the night it was really great to see my dear friend Toby Raleigh being recognized for 20 years of service!  :)

A week in review

It's been a challenging week.  Monday night at approximately 8:30 pm I smoked the last cigarette of my life.  Thanks to all the support I have received and my own willpower, I have been smoke free for almost 5 days!!!!  I honestly never thought it would happen.  I used to tell everyone that I would never quit smoking...I just loved it too much.  Now after having been 5 days without and roughly 96 cigarettes NOT smoked I can confidently say I AM A NON SMOKER.  It feels really quite amazing.  To be honest i feel pretty damn proud of myself.  I never thought I would be without cigarettes and to be honest I do miss them, sometimes more than others, such as right now but I can't believe I have been 5 days without and I plan to never smoke again!!!!  Yay me.  :*>