Kiss My Heart

Heart of the Ocean

Close To My Heart

Rut

Today when I asked someone how they were doing they said "oh you know just hanging curtains in my rut...


This got me to thinking about my rut.  Why I'm in a rut, why I'm hanging curtains in my rut, because quite frankly I'm not only hanging curtains, but installing new carpet, hardwood floors, and bathroom fixtures (I apparently plan to be here for a while), and how do I "move out" of my rut. 


I find so often that something inspires me and sends a spark to my mind which fonders me into creating a fanstatical idea for jewelry, for a business, for an activity or adventure...and then well, nothing really happens.  Rather, I guess I should say I never do anything with it.  Why do we get in ruts?  Are they comfortable?  Are we afraid we will fail?  I think it's all of that but also, quite simply, some of us are just lazy boobs!  Boobs are great, don't get me wrong, really they are quite lovely, unless you are being one and your just laying there!


I really don't want to lie here anymore, maybe I need a boob job but I sure would like to purk up, get going, and do some things.  I'd like to start that jewelry website.  I'd like to really truly do that parkour, not just say I will.  I want to take that overnight trip to a famous hotel in Colorado and stay in one of the famous "haunted" rooms.  I want to stop hanging curtain, stop being a professional interior decorator, and put up the for sale sign!

A Letter

Dear 2011,

First, let me say thank you for coming.  We have a long road ahead of us together, you and I.  We are going to step back from some things knowing that it’s not forever but just for right now.  School is important, it always has been but we both know that despite our heart’s desire, now is not a good time.  Focusing on Joshua is primary.  We will come back to it, when the time is right. 

We are going to fully immerse ourselves in some really fun things such as:

1.      Parkour

2.      Learning Italian fluently and

3.      Indoor rock climbing

We are also going to work our butts off at getting those nasty and pesky 30 pounds we don’t like, to take a hike.

We are going to do at least one thing a month on that very interesting bucket list.

And finally, we are going to love ourselves, put ourselves first more, be more compassionate to others, work very hard to heal past hurts, get our asses in shape, and experiment with some yoga and Buddhism.

I’m sure 2011, that the road won’t always be easy or pleasant but you and I are going to grow and experience all that we can!  We are going to make this be a wonderful year full of hope, happiness, and adventure.

I hope you are as exciting as I am 2011, to seek the future and move forward in many, many new directions.  I thank you again for coming to see me.  I’m grateful for your presence each day and I am excited about all the things you and I have planned together.

Much love,

Lydia

Reverb10: Let go

Let go.  What (or whom) did you let go of this year?  Why?

We all know people come and go in our lives.  Sometimes by choice, sometimes not.  In 2010, a previous friend returned to my life and the friendship returned.  Over the course of a few months we got close.  I enjoyed the friendship immensely.  As time passed it became difficult for me to maintain the friendship, at least to the level the other person wanted me to.  In the end it came down to the relationship being very taxing for me.  I had many things going on in my life, as we all do, and I was not able to spend al my time with her.  There were some other things going on for me.  We should love and give without expecting anything in return, but let’s face it, aside from the Dalai Lama, who can actually do that?  I for one cannot.  And so I felt I was doing a lot of giving without getting much in return.  It was extremely hard for me to do, but I asked for space.  Not to end the friendship but just for some time and understanding to have time and space.  In all fairness to the other person I can empathize with her frustration and hurt.  Hurting her and ending the friendship was the last thing I wanted to do, but ultimately it did end. 

This is entirely my view point and no doubt I did my fair share of things that contributed to the demise of the friendship.  If I’m being honest though, since I’ve let go, I feel more peace, less stress, which tells me it was the right decision.

None of us are perfect, myself included, but in 2010 I learned that sometimes as much as it hurts ourselves and those involved, sometimes we have to be okay with saying “I need this or I need that”.  It’s okay to ask for something, and if the person you are asking doesn’t feel they can give you that then that is okay too.  And I learned that as hard as it can be it is okay, sometimes even necessary to let go.