Reverb10: Let go

Let go.  What (or whom) did you let go of this year?  Why?

We all know people come and go in our lives.  Sometimes by choice, sometimes not.  In 2010, a previous friend returned to my life and the friendship returned.  Over the course of a few months we got close.  I enjoyed the friendship immensely.  As time passed it became difficult for me to maintain the friendship, at least to the level the other person wanted me to.  In the end it came down to the relationship being very taxing for me.  I had many things going on in my life, as we all do, and I was not able to spend al my time with her.  There were some other things going on for me.  We should love and give without expecting anything in return, but let’s face it, aside from the Dalai Lama, who can actually do that?  I for one cannot.  And so I felt I was doing a lot of giving without getting much in return.  It was extremely hard for me to do, but I asked for space.  Not to end the friendship but just for some time and understanding to have time and space.  In all fairness to the other person I can empathize with her frustration and hurt.  Hurting her and ending the friendship was the last thing I wanted to do, but ultimately it did end. 

This is entirely my view point and no doubt I did my fair share of things that contributed to the demise of the friendship.  If I’m being honest though, since I’ve let go, I feel more peace, less stress, which tells me it was the right decision.

None of us are perfect, myself included, but in 2010 I learned that sometimes as much as it hurts ourselves and those involved, sometimes we have to be okay with saying “I need this or I need that”.  It’s okay to ask for something, and if the person you are asking doesn’t feel they can give you that then that is okay too.  And I learned that as hard as it can be it is okay, sometimes even necessary to let go.